The other day, I woke up at 5:40 am, drank warm lemon water. Taught a hot yoga class, walked the dogs, went back to the studio for ‘sculpt’ class (hot yoga with weights) and feeling virtuous, I came home and immediately jumped on the scales. Woohooo! They were so kind: they didn’t even groan, I was that skinny.
Of course, afterwards I had to drink a gallon of water, and eat some breakfast (or I’d pass out). And I was fully aware, had I stepped back on the scales, they would have groaned and told a very different story, and reality would’ve slapped me in the face. But I wasn’t about to sabotage my own little self-deception. I am skinny and I have the proof!
There are so many examples of this weird little lie – I know three people in the past month who cut out the booze and cleaned up their eating a few days before a blood test just to get good results and then they went back to normal straight afterwards. How does that make any sense?
I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that when a GP asks how much alcohol a patient drinks, they mentally double their answer, they know of this strange game we play with ourselves
You Can’t Handle the Truth
I then started to think about ‘truth’ and the words ‘You can’t handle the truth…’ sprang to mind. (If you’ve not seen it, then watch the film A Few Good Men.) Jack Nicholson plays a Marine Colonel and Tom Cruise a lawyer determined to uncover the truth about certain horrible practices in the military. In the courtroom scene, Cruise is pushing for 'the truth' and Nicholson erupts with the line, 'You can’t handle the truth!' He then attempts to justify the brutal actions he believes are necessary to protect civilians. Do we always want to know the cost of our security? It’s an interesting point.
We sugarcoat things to make them more palatable. “Does my bum look big in this?” “No, it looks peachy”. “Do I look old and wrinkly?” “No, you look natural and outdoorsy”. “Am I singing off key?” “No, you were harmonising”.
Truth & Yoga
In Patañjali’s Yoga Sutras, the Yamas and Niyamas outline ten ethical principles that people who follow the yogic path should follow. One of these is Satya, or truthfulness. Truth has the power to correct wrongs and alleviate suffering. It is fierce in its demands yet generous in its rewards; Satya is neither safe nor the easy option, but it is good. Satya sits alongside Ahimsa, or non-harming, so how we tell the truth matters too. If we don’t approach truth with a bit of trepidation, then perhaps we haven’t yet grasped the depth of this principle.
Why do we lie? Is it to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, or because we fear the truth might make us unlikable? Often, we present different versions of ourselves to be accepted by others. But is this truthful? Are we being true to our innate selves, or are we packaging ourselves for acceptance? A quotation often attributed to Carl Jung puts it like this: “A lie would make no sense unless the truth felt too dangerous."
To be real means to act from the centre of our essence. Realness is not superimposed; it arises from a place where there is nothing to defend, nothing to control. This authenticity might not always be pleasant or comfortable, but it is trustworthy. What compels us to distort or silence ourselves, to say “yes” when we mean “no”? Or, as Jung might ask, what makes the truth feel so dangerous that we choose to hide it?
The Truths We Avoid
Often, we know when we’re bending the truth, especially with ourselves. Before we try “handling” the truth for others, maybe it’s time to turn inward and face the truths we avoid in our own lives. Next time you catch yourself in a little self-deception, pause and ask: What truth am I sidestepping here?
Right, I am about to measure myself again with this great new elasticated tape measure. Turns out, I’m rocking the same measurements as Audrey Hepburn- Go figure!
Photo by Glen Carrie on Unsplash
